To cite this article: Paquette, Lucy. “The James Tissot Gift Shop.” The Hammock. https://thehammocknovel.wordpress.com/2020/04/01/the-james-tissot-gift-shop/. <Date viewed.>
April 1 is my birthday, so you must expect my annual tradition of a little gentle humor. This year, it’s a little levity during a challenging time as my gift to you: we’re all in this together, and we need to keep our spirits up however we can. Art lovers hunkered down all over the world, this is for you.
Inspired by a Twitter thread last year, in which items found for sale online – such as a shower curtain printed with Lord Byron on his Death Bed (c. 1826, by Joseph-Denis Odevaere) – were suggested for the gift shop at Byron’s ancestral home, Newstead Abbey…allow me to present The James Tissot Gift Shop. Imagine the possibilities for redecorating your home, and transforming your personal style, à la Tissot during the lockdown necessary to keep us all as safe as possible during the coronavirus pandemic.
Shop online, or distract yourself for a few minutes by browsing! You can begin every day on an upbeat note, confidently sipping coffee in your very own Still on Top mug. And don’t prepare another breakfast without your new Ladies of the Cars Apron! Maybe you’d like to linger over breakfast in bed, using your “Waiting for the Fairy” [sic] Serving Tray. [We’re all waiting for the fairy.] Remember to cough into your elbow or your The Bridesmaid napkins.
Smooth your The Shop Girl duvet cover and replace all your worn hand towels and bath towels with new ones featuring Tissot’s paintings, such as A Woman of Ambition – an image sure to jump-start any endeavor, from organizing your book shelves to home-schooling your children.
Self-care is important; if you’d like the artist moodily assessing you each morning, try this shower curtain.
Settle in for the weeks ahead. Toss James Tissot throw pillows on all your armchairs and sofas, suited to your lifestyle and personality: On the Thames, 1876 Throw Pillow or The Captain and the Mate, 1873 Throw Pillow if you’re adventurous; Room Overlooking the Harbour Throw Pillow or Chrysanthemums, 1876 Throw Pillow if you’re the contemplative type; Hide and Seek Throw Pillow if you have children; or, if you feel the urge to belong vicariously to an elite private club of aristocrats idling away the day (before the days of social distancing) on a balcony of the Hôtel de Coislin overlooking the Place de la Concorde in Paris, the Circle of the rue Royale Throw Pillow.
If you must leave your house, perhaps to stock up on dried beans and canned tuna, you’ll need the Portrait of the Marquise de Miramon Reusable Grocery Bag.
And if you think, as I do, that the Marquise, née Thérèse Feuillant, is exquisite, you’ll also want her image on a Set of car mats as well as the Crossbody Bag as you deliver some supplies to a neighbor or two.
You can find dozens of jigsaw puzzles from Tissot paintings to keep you and your family busy, including the lovely “The Bunch of Lilacs” jigsaw puzzle, “Holyday” jigsaw puzzle, and “Afternoon Tea” jigsaw puzzle. And if you’re a reader, you’ll definitely want to download The Hammock: a novel based on the true story of French painter James Tissot (remember, there are free reading apps available on Amazon for your PC, tablet and smartphone).
There’s no James Tissot coloring book, but since his paintings showcase women’s fashions of the 1860s, 1870s, and 1880s, lose yourself in the Godey’s Fashions Coloring Book, Late Victorian and Edwardian Fashions Coloring Book, or Victorian Gowns Coloring Book (coloring can be very soothing, since it requires little effort and maintains your focus on something positive and beautiful).
Or enjoy the comfort of baking, using your “Waiting for the Ferry” Cake Pan.
It’s user-recommended as a “nice bridal shower gift,” but don’t be tempted to socialize: please do your part and consume your cakes at home!
Daintily snacking on your own cake is, possibly, one activity for which you’ll enjoy social distancing.
Do stay fit at home with a wide range of James Tissot yoga mats, though you must brace yourself for the options, which include the Abandoned yoga mat (above), the Prehistoric Women Yoga Mat (left, for a wild workout), and a full selection from Tissot’s Bible illustrations, such as the Adam Is Tempted by Eve Yoga Mat, The Wise Virgins yoga mat, the Blind Leading the Blind Yoga Mat, and the truly egregious Jesus in Prison yoga mat (right). You may instead find yourself enchanted by the ethereal beauty and fresh, pure landscape of the Autumn on the Thames yoga mat.
But since James Tissot was acclaimed for illustrating the Bible, there are any number of items available reproducing this body of work, which may strike you as irreverent or devotional depending upon your perspective.
As a sampler, let’s look at items featuring his painting, Jesus Walks on the Sea: a table lamp, a pendant lamp [temporarily sold out], a night light, a light switch cover (which, really, was not the best idea), an LED candle, and a snow globe.
And there are still other ways that The James Tissot Gift Shop can help us make the best of our altered reality.
Working from your new home office? Keep an eye on the time with your The Woman Of Fashion Clock.
If you require new binders to sort your paperwork, there’s something for everyone, e.g. the Emmanuel Chabrier, aged 20, 1861 3-ring binder and the A Tedious Story 3-ring binder (to stuff with everything from tax documents to incoming mail you just cannot deal with right now).
Need to scribble a shopping list while foraging in the pantry for the mid-day meal? This A Luncheon notebook will come in handy.
But what you really need to organize your every rendez-vous – yes, all those video conferences, FaceTime group calls, Google Hangouts, and daily Skype chats to keep tabs on Grandma and Grandpa – is a planner featuring A Luncheon.
If you’re musical, you’ll be happy to know that A Luncheon also is available on a guitar pick.
Maybe you lack that particular talent, but still, you can “bump up the volume of your favorite jams” with the “Waiting at the Station speaker.”
Be sure to use this time to enliven your wardrobe with some James Tissot style.
Women can start with some investment pieces, such as these “James Tissot Young Lady In A Boat Crew Socks.”
Step up your game by pairing your new socks with the “Studio11Couture Women Hoodie Dress Hooded Tunic James Tissot Young Lady In A Boat Athleisure Sweatshirt.” You know you want it! No need to pad around your apartment in sweat pants when you can be this glam in comfort.
Male admirers of James Tissot will have to be content, for the foreseeable future, with T-shirts and hoodies until public gatherings again are permissible.
Then, you can sport enough chic ties, announcing your newfound fashion sense, to bring every passing stranger within three feet of you. Prepare yourself.
In the meantime, be safe, my dears! Wash your hands, look out for your loved ones and your neighbors, and stay home. Thanks for sharing a little laughter to celebrate my birthday with me.
And in light of the Covid-19 crisis, there’s one last item in The James Tissot Gift Shop you might consider: The Lord’s Prayer Coffee Mug.
Note: All merchandise is featured for informational purposes only. No endorsement or advertising is intended or implied for any goods, services, or companies, and no compensation has been received by the author.
Previous April Fool’s Day posts:
© 2020 by Lucy Paquette. All rights reserved.
The articles published on this blog are copyrighted by Lucy Paquette. An article or any portion of it may not be reproduced in any medium or transmitted in any form, electronic or mechanical, without the author’s permission. You are welcome to cite or quote from an article provided you give full acknowledgement to the author.
The Hammock: A novel based on the true story of French painter James Tissot, brings Tissot’s world from 1870 to 1879 alive in a story of war, art, Society glamour, love, scandal, and tragedy.
Illustrated with 17 stunning, high-resolution fine art images in full color
Courtesy of The Bridgeman Art Library
(295 pages; ISBN (ePub): 978-0-615-68267-9).
NOTE: If you do not have a Kindle e-reader, you may download free Kindle reading apps for PCs, Smartphones, tablets, and the Kindle Cloud Reader to read The Hammock: A novel based on the true story of French painter James Tissot. Read reviews.